Children can hold trauma from the prenatal and birth periods and carry it on. Babies have the capacity to heal through crying-in-loving-arms, an emotional approach to healing from stress. Another is the Gillespie Approach, a physiological method to healing from trauma. Both complement each other and are often intertwined.
Dr. Barry Gillespie has written about infants crying during sessions while releasing stored emotions. Similarly, when parents listen to their babies cry in their loving arms, the infants may unwind by arching, twisting, turning, and bending.
When babies don’t have the opportunity to heal from their stressful birth experiences, those traumas can accumulate over time. We often see young children experiencing tantrums and meltdowns as a result.
These expressions are often termed as the inability to "self-regulate." In the trauma-informed parenting paradigm, their tantrums are in fact an indication of healing.
As a society, we have negative harmful associations with emotional experiences such as children’s tantrums. In correction, we teach children to use their minds, logic, and language.
Yet, if babies have been given opportunities to heal right from the moment of birth, they can be very pleasant to be around from very young ages and have less-frequent tantrums. It is also never too late to start reconnecting and healing.
As adults adapt to a world full of changes, growth, and development, having a good cry once a week is very healthy. How loving a place our communities would be if everyone's support system consisted of an empathetic friend with whom to mutually hold space for each other?
My world changed significantly for the better once I had multiple people in my life listen to and hold space for my rage and tears—no fixing, no changing, and no attempt at understanding “why, why, why.” That along with receiving bodywork supported me in becoming the person and mother I always wanted to be.
In this world where parents and children receive the least of support, compassion, and love, I am holding everyone in my intention and sending love and compassion to all.
